Free Weird Wednesday Tonight: THE SEX THIEF

OK, so the Naked Rider was a little light on the Naked Riding. At least it had plenty of nakedness and riding, even if they weren't crammed together as naked riding. You can put the two together in your head. It's interactive. Don't worry about this week's movie THE SEX THIEF. There's plenty of "Sex" and "Thievery" and "The" even gets into the act.

If you've seen and enjoyed CASINO ROYALE, check out what director Martin Campbell was up to 33 years ago. The title "THE SEX THIEF" is pure genius, as it conveys everything this movie is about. Or, as one of his victims screams when she discovers the sex thief in her apartment: "You're a handsome cat burglar and I'm an unhappily married woman!"

This is a free movie and all the cool kids will be there. The Alamo Drafthouse Downtown is located at 4th and Colorado.

THE SEX THIEF
NOVEMBER 29 MIDNIGHT, FREE, DIR. MARTIN CAMPBELL, 1973, 35mm, 89MIN, R

OK, First things first. I am chronically disposed to dislike anything British, but ever since I saw my first UK sexploitation film, the ice has begun to thaw from my heart. I still don’t understand half of what anyone says but man oh man, hot girls with British accents are royally kickass. THE SEX THIEF has one of those socially unacceptable plotlines that pretty much guarantees we won’t see its like again. It’s about a struggling pulp fiction writer who doubles as an incompetent jewel thief. He gets caught in the act every time, but he uses his looks and charm to make the best of it. Soon he becomes a celebrity. Wealthy women start leaving their jewels out like milk and cookies for Santa Claus in hopes that the sex thief will unlawfully invade their domiciles. From the director of the latest James Bond film, CASINO ROYALE. (Lars)

I Thought Love Was Forever...

In more fun BORAT-related news, now everyone's favorite Kazakhstani journalist is apparently being blamed not just for making drunk frat guys look like... well, look like drunk frat guys, but he's also a no-good homewrecker.

This picture just wrecked my home, too.

Apparently Kid Rock was too busy getting married to Pamela Anderson over and over and over and over again to actually get a chance to go out and see her role in her newest film. When he saw it, he got pissed. I mean, he got mad. Chances are he was piss drunk already.


The first time Kid Rock tried to get drunk and trash a hotel room he only managed to do the first part before he passed out.

According to a source for Page 6, when the Universal studio chief held a private screening of BORAT in his Beverly Hills home, Kid Rock blew up at Pam in front of everyone, screaming, "You're nothing but a whore! You're a slut! How could you do that movie?"Somehow the source didn't say anything about what happened immediately after Rock's outburst, when every single person looked at him in shocked silence before one lone voice meekly said, "Um... Kid? Yeah, you were in a sex tape with that Scott Stapp guy from Creed. Do you really want to question people's behavior in movies?"


Our main question is: what is that girl behind Kid doing to his back and why doesn't his shirt fit? Actually, our main main quesiton is: how can anyone find that guy attractive?

Oddly enough, that meek voice at the Borat screening was Dustin Diamond.

In Case You Missed It - Pizza Tears

At the start of last night's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pizza party show Shredder showed up, and he was pissed. Casey Jones was on stage thanking everyone for coming out to the theater and reminding them that they could get all the pizza they wanted, and then in came Shredder, screaming about how the show could not go on. What was it he was so pissed about? False advertising.

Shredder hates this ad, too. Babies creep him out.



See, the TMNT pizza party was advertised as an all-you-can-eat affair. But many of the audience members were only having all they CARED to eat. So before the movie could start, Shredder made two people come up from the audience to compete in a pizza eating contest where they would each see how much pizza they could possibly cram into their mouths, stomachs, legs, and ears in a single minute.



And what's up with people who use a fork and knife with their pizza?

One of the contestants that came up was a boy who looked like he was maybe ten years old, and when he saw the pizza he wordlessly left the stage and just walked back up to his seat with his parents. Apparently a cheese pizza with eel and french fries and queso didn't sound like a good idea to him. Fortunately two twenty-something guys were up for the challenge. The best part? They each started CRYING while they were shoving things in their mouth. When asked about it later one of the contestants said it was because the queso was too hot, but I still think they were tears of joy at how beautiful that moment was.


At the 2006 Miss Annoying Cardboard Cut Out pageant, everyone was a winner. But that didn't make it any less special.



Tonight I'm going to try to approximate that beauty through the miracle of learning at the Schoolhouse Rock Sing-Along. Everyone gets a workbook at the door and we all have four assignments, one for each subject. You should come out to the show tonight, but if you can't make it I'll give you some highlights tomorrow. Then you'll see that you really need to come out to this Thursday's show...

Free Weird Wednesday Tonight: NAKED RIDER!

Not a biker movie as the name may imply, this is also known as ALL THE YOUNG WIVES and it's one of those "rip the lid off" exposes of a small southern town's moral decay. If you find the degeneration of the south's moral fiber as thrilling as we do then by all means join us!

KVRX presents WEIRD WEDNESDAY!

NAKED RIDER
NOVEMBER 22 MIDNIGHT, FREE, DIR, WILLIAM DIEHL, 1975, 35MM, 92 min, R

Nasty regional sexploitation soap opera about Big Daddy Jim Calder, who owns a whole Georgia town lock, stock and barrel. He’s got it all but his most prized possessions are his horses and his virgin bride, who he’s saving for a special occasion. When his horse breeder inseminates his wife while he’s out sowing his own wild oats, Big Jim goes ballistic and challenges him to a horse race, and this time it’s personal. If the entire deep south is ever wiped out by an errant nuclear weapon, we’ll be able to rebuild it with the help of NAKED RIDER. We’ll have the clothes, the accents, the racism, the peculiarly southern code of honor and, most importantly, we’ll have the tits. We may not need those but it will be a tough job and I don’t know about you, but I’ll just feel better knowing they’re around. (Lars)


The Alamo Drafthouse Downtown is located at 4th and Colorado. Admission is free but there are tasty wines, beers and foods for your delectation so bring a little coin.

Attention Air-do-wells of Austin!

See yourself on National TV! The Travel Channel will be in town filming at the Air Guitar event on Nov. 28th, so put your air on and represent Austin on TV!

I know WAAAAY too much about Air Guitar, so I really need an Austin competitor to get to Finland this year to justify this obsession (And to justify a trip to Finland for the Alamo programming team, who will undoubtedly be there to cheer you on in the frozen tundra.)

Tuesday, Nov. 28 - 9:45pm:
AUSTIN AIR GUITAR CHAMPIONSHIPS
Preliminary Round 1 - Alamo Downtown

For tickets: SEE ALAMO WEBSITE

To register as a competitor email your MP3 to: lars@originalalamo.com

Started in Finland as an effort to increase overall world peace through the beauty of air guitar (the theory being that one cannot hold a gun if one is holding an air guitar), the World Air Guitar Championship has now become an international phenomenon with contestants from over 50 countries competing for the world title, as well as regional contests in over 20 cities in the U.S.

Austin, dubbed by many as the live music capitol of the world, also seems poised to claim the title of Air Guitar capitol of the world! Once a month, come to the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema - the official host venue of the Austin Air Guitar regionals - to either watch the spectacle or to blast out your hottest air licks on stage in our preliminary rounds leading up to the regional championships in March. It's free to compete in and regular admission to watch what we feel comfortable saying is the most fulfilling 90 minutes of entertainment in the southwest!


For a complete list of rules, FAQ for new contestants, video clips from last year and tickets to all of the 2006/2007 season performances, check out the AUSTIN AIR GUITAR WEBSITE.

NOTE: competitors are admitted free to the event. If you are going to compete, please email an MP3 of your one minute solo selection to the Air Guitar Head Office at least 4 hours prior to the competition. You can bring a CD on the night of the show, but this is more prone to technical difficulty. We highly recommend sending us the song in advance so we can test the audio balance the sound levels.

THE 2007 FINAL AUSTIN CHAMPIONSHIP IS BY SELECTION ONLY - TO COMPETE IN THE FINALS AND REPRESENT AUSTIN IN THE U.S. FINALS, YOU MUST WIN, PLACE OR SHOW AT ONE OF THE PRELIMINARY ROUNDS. The 2007 Finals will be held during the 2007 SXSW Music Festival (Mar 9-18), date and time TBA.

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More on Air Guitar:

A new invention that may change the face of air guitar forever?
CANBERRA, Australia - Scientists announced Monday that they have developed a high-tech T-shirt that turns the strumming of an air guitar into music.

But Bjorn Turoque, this nation's greatest Air Guitarist (even though he keeps losing), has this to say about the new invention:

"When will these people learn that air guitar is not something to be made virtual? Why do people keep trying to improve upon perfection?

I'll tell you why: these "scientists" are trying to give the old sell out to the Last Pure Art Form. They realize that air guitar is universal, and they see dollar signs in place of invisible guitars. They fancy themselves selling their idea to some global corporate conglomerate and buying summer homes in New Zealand. Well, I have news for you. It ain't gonna happen.

Björn Türoque, your humble and faithful air guitar servant, has watched the video. He can see right through their pathetic ploys. This thing will never sell. It's insanely clunky and in no way mimics the power of pure air guitar. (Imagine—the folly of mimicing the mimicry of guitar playing?)"

Buy Bjorn Turoque's book "To Air is Human"
HERE

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For more on the history of Air Guitar, and the results of last year's competition, see the AIR GUITAR WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS page.

Barry Williams (Greg Brady) in the house for A VERY BRADY XMAS!

Saturday Dec. 2 - 7pm & 10pm:

THE SINUS SHOW presents

A VERY BRADY CHRISTMAS

D. PETER BALDWIN, dvd, 1988, 100 min

Alamo Downtown



WITH BARRY WILLIAMS (Greg Brady) LIVE!



Watch as the Sinus crew takes on one of the most entertainingly bad movies ever, the 1988 made-for-TV fiasco 'A Very Brady Christmas', which features all your favorites from the original 'Brady Bunch' television show (except for Cindy). Plotlines and integrity are sacrificed at the altar of schmaltz in this ridiculously good-natured holiday story. Now that the Brady kids have grown up and left the nest, Mom (Florence Henderson) and Dad (Robert Reed) decide to fly them back home for a Christmas reunion. While together, each of the Bradys tries to hide a shameful secret from the rest of the clan: Jan's marriage is a mess, Marcia's husband has lost his job, and Bobby wants to quit grad school to become a race-car driver. Over Christmas dinner, however, all secrets are predictably revealed, except for the most egregious ones: Cindy has been mysteriously replaced by a hot fox who looks nothing like her, Mom and Greg have been getting Oedipal, and Dad Brady has been having sex with other men since the Nixon era. Not to fear, however: what the movie elides, the Sinus crew derides - and gleefully. Come see the Sinus boys ridicule the proceedings, including the absurdly contrived ending (a 'deus ex MOCK-ina' if ever there was one) in which the Bradys manage to free dad from a deadly building collapse through the sheer power of Christmas caroling!



PS. Don't call him Greg Brady.

More on the Borat legal troubles...

Lawyers representing the villagers of Glod, Romania, say they'll be filing three lawsuits against the makers of "Borat" in New York, Florida and Germany, asking not just for damages -- they're seeking over $30 million for the way they were portrayed in the film -- but also that the film be edited to cast them in a better light. The lawyer heading the villagers' suit, Edward D. Fagan, who's known for winning a case that forced Swiss banks to pay $1.25 billion to Holocaust victims in the 1990s, said he hopes to "teach Hollywood a very expensive lesson." "This case is not about money but about dignity," said Fagan in New York. "The producers need to pay because they deprived the villagers of Glod of their essential right to choose." (Los Angeles Times)

Personally, I think it's a huge load of crap. It's a freaking comedy, there's no loss of dignity for this fictitious town! Right now, these suits are good for continuing the buzz on Borat, hands down the funniest film of the year if not the decade, but if in the end the legal vultures decimate the profits and prevent this type of film from ever being made again, well, then we will all be living in a far sadder world.

Complete news story here.

Next installment of Sounds Seen this Sunday

Sounds Seen: Austin's VJ Competition
Alamo Drafthouse Downtown
Sunday, Nov 26, 9:45 PM

It's time for the Bi-monthly VJ competition at the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema downtown. Vj-ing is a relatively new phenomenon which takes the art of the DJ (turntablism) into the video arena. Sounds Seen features local and regional VJs as they perform 6-8 minute sets of live-mixed video. The kicker, at the end of the night, the audience votes on who delivered the best performance and that competitor will walk home with $500 cash. The whole night makes for a pretty cool, unique eye-candy experience, so I encourage you to check it out.

Sounds Seen is sponsored by Livid Instruments and the New AT&T. Livid will have software demonstrations in the lobby and will also be giving away a copy of Livid Union to one of the competitors.

With the recent advances in low-cost, high-speed laptops, the computing power to join into the VJ fray is now within anyone's reach. As proof positive of that concept, I myself will be competing for the first time at this month's VJ competition. Please don't boo me off the stage.

Sounds Seen Official Website

Tim League
founder
Alamo Drafthouse Cinema